XVII

poem 1

Let’s eat up all the hurts
to vomit out put up appearances.
and hold that pixie dust
and smear it on our chests.

Whether its the stars
or them fucking moons
or that fiery mars.
There’s method to their madness,
a slippery,cosmic dance.

How disgustingly,
we take pride in ourselves,
parading around
in them still raw scars.

whether its prayer or curses
or cocaine.
Darling,
we are already doomed.
So whatever rows your boat.
Whatever takes away the pain.

-Syeda Maham Nayyer

Continue reading “XVII”

Advertisements
Aside

Feminism and the Modern Khatoon

I hate it when people say that Feminism is not the hill they want to die upon or when Bollywood actresses leave no stone (read media outlet) unturned to claim that they are not a feminist.Heavens forbid if anyone considers them one other wise.Tauba Tauba!! Their eagerness reminds me of the morbid fascination Amreekan kids have with cooties… Everyone talks about it yet no one wants anything to do with it.Did you say Feminism?eewww😂😂😂
Yaar Feminism is a beautiful ideology. Period.Honestly the idea of equality and freedom to choose is liberating at so many levels.. How could you say you do not believe in equality.Do you really need loads of time to figure out how you feel about human rights?

Enter the modern Khatoon who has it really easy (because earlier women paved a road for them and took all the heat in the process) to claim:

 ‘I ain’t no Feminist mama’….

While we at this topic one should accept that unnecessary male bashing and senseless debates over non issues has really​ harmed the XX chromosome containing population’s cause.Ok!So you don’t want a tag?Fine.Dont use it but atleast understand that we all need to understand,solidarity should be a built in reflex and not something that can be left as a choice.

Seriously there should be something similar along the lines of the Bro Code.A Zanani Code may be?What do you think? 😂

Feminism and the Modern Khatoon

XIII

The biscuits tasted sweet.
He dearly missed that of ignorance of youth.Youth itself is a mirage!How blissfully it wraps a person into a delusion of power.Makes one feel that they can Understand and Change anything.Everything.After all Everything is either in the in the absolute right or wrong.Black or white.

He popped another biscuit in his mouth.Too sweet.

Things change and the universe forces a person to acknowledge unpleasant things.Makes you admit of all kinds of realities and see that there are no absolute no rights and wrongs.No abrupt ends to stories and People are in the varying shades of gray.

The aftertaste in his mouth was tinged with bitterness.

XIII

I have a HUGE test on Friday

No.Get Lost
No.Get Lost

 

So I have this intehaaai big pharmacology viva on Friday and by huge I mean it includes the whole course.Naturally.I mean can’t I have ever a NORMAL weekend like the rest of normal Homo sapien population (Like the one that does not include any sort of exams). No,I guess that’s too much to ask 😀 .So about this test;let us see how the land lies for the Radical blogger….

  1. The professors are really evil sweet
  2. I have THREEE (pun intended) days to memorize the entire course.
  3. Thee radical blogger is not prepared at all!!!!!!!(well no surprises there)…
  4. Plus my my mom thinks that I am going ace this test (Dear ammi,I am more like an ACE inhibitor)
  5. Bullet four was a medical joke
  6. I am a goner.

So if you are wondering what this PHARMACOLOGY thingie is……you are lucky man….no seriously you are *gives you that Scooby Doo’s creepy guy’s signature look* 

You cutie.
You cutie.

Pharmey is a study of doom,torture and tears  medicines.On a serious note it is a pretty important subject and I would have liked it if it weren’t so volatile.It’s like depicting ancient Runes.

sponge

I should really start studying now..
Gulp.

I have a HUGE test on Friday

A Flight Of Imagination

Nasa

 

All this self isolation
is my choice
but loneliness used to haunt haunt me,

fill me up with apprehensions

The vines of depression
Will engulf my soul.
Unseen.

I can see it drifting away,
to the remote seas
and impregnable mountains,
unsung.

My thoughts will end up in void
or may be..
they’ll hang in the air
as echoes of a suppressed voice
never sought after….

Why is it so difficult
to relate?
As I scribble this sad note
A voice reminds me
at the back of my head.

That all this static,
pause or call it vacuum
is self created.
After all,
this isolation is
self imposed.

– Syeda Maham

Aside

Story of Me

perfect

Been too hard on myself lately
Perfection is long gone
What remains is a shadow
a mere speck of once a radical
crumbling to her feet
pretty much drained of everything

I am not what I used to be
Did all that just radiate
out of me
How can this happen!
Can downfall hit so early
and so hard in face
or maybe everyone’s just mean
And
not understanding.

Is it my belief
so deviant from the norm of my age
Making an alien out of me
or the fact that I never fit in
In whatever sort I try to mingle
Failure
One after the other
Where do I belong….

A realistic in every walk
How did I not see my own self
Detached from the bare facts myself
So easy it was to close eyes
Than to accept my
Limitations

Ha!
They all seem to slap me in the face
Did I deserve all this
May be I did..
All of those who lure themselves
into believing in a better version of own self
that never exists
paint miraculous abilities
that are mediocre in real
Will see a similar time

It rips me to see the truth
and live with this bitterness
But it’s the best to understand
that
I need to stop
predenting to be someone,
I no longer am.

-Syeda Maham

Aside